PROFILE >>

BLOG >>

TAG >>

MISC

the sad sad life of mimi.
so be ready.
coz itz gonna be f*ckin' jiwang.
*hahakzZZZ!!!!!

geylang,not yet,maybe never.baju raya,pakai last few year punye lah,preps,malas lah,this year it seems that i''m not into this hari raya thingy...well 2008,a year i wanna forget...

so i spend the whole of yesterday nite polising rims with autosol,pipes,sparying rims,with gizmo,wak,along and cheong. yeah,till we get to see our faces on the rims uh.so i went back a 4am.bob an came but we were on the verge of leaving.well wak have been wanting me to stay at sengkang back again like last time.ask me to bring my laptop and everything there permenantly,maklumlah org tu pc rosak kan.tgk la macam mana.well aunt also always asking me to...

maybe it'd be sengkang again tomorrow!!!


look where u stand, & look where i am,i have nothing to lose...

"see,you're not trying", those were your words that i'll always remember...

what do u think it was easy.yeah easy for u to say.be where i am rite now,in my shoes,then u'll understand.some of my friends found out already.it isnt a closed secret anymore.do u noe how much shit i get from my friends?some got angry,some worry for my sake.and u can say that im not trying?!i kept quiet when u said that,coz i knew u either get mad at what im gonna say or it will make u cry.i guessed that u have already knew my feelings.well not totaly,but u know.how can u plan all that just becoz u wanna meet me. as i say,'ll never meet u when u are with him.sometimes i just dont understand why i keep seeing u,when i already know the consequences.well maybe i'm just lonely.i dont understand myself.what will only happen is when u realize that its time to go,or i'm gonna realize its time for me to go.we can't go on like this.how long can we just go on like this.all i wanted from u is for u to smile and be happy,whatever happens.even if situations ask me to go,well if it makes everything better then i go.so i have to talk to u. well, we have to have a real good talk.lets make everything clear.whatever happens...

you'll know...

that will be good enough for me...
hopefully,
as i've said i have nothing to lose,
coz i've lost everything...

**~botak

Sunday, September 28, 2008 // 11:43 PM

so taday i travelled around alone,well i planned to...
so i got off to marina alone after work to look at stuff. Yeah got a look at some nike apparels...
so i was otw to city hall,we were talking uh,u1st u wanted me to meet u,after u finished work,den u said no,coz u didnt wanna trouble me,so wen u asked me where i was,when i told her that i was at raffles,she shouted,get out get out,i wanna mit u for awhile,i nearly made it out,the door was like closing uh...so we met,talked and looked for her shoes, yeah so we talked abit about how we met last time uh. our memories rite... yeah its been like 3 years uh,u were nineteen.. got me smiling uh...

i got to see the F1 track at around marina. yeah excited about it. i hope it'd be as good as the the Belgium GP, kimi & lewis uh...

hope race day will be fun to watch!!!!

so tomolo is skating nite, and sat's chilling day...
well its been a good week uh...
im quite pleased with how things are going...
=)

Thursday, September 25, 2008 // 11:47 PM

well yeah u seem confused. but talk to him girl. express everything. well u dun nid to mention it. u're my bestfriend. why would i ever want to see u sad. smile aite... =)

u called.well sorry about yeastaday,about my phone batt dying in the middle of our conversation.well i was at work and there's no charger.stupid samsung phone!so i'm going to charge my phone and bring my charger along with me no matter where i go.

well sometimes its weird,sometimes its fun,sometimes it feels wonderfull,sometime it feels totaly wrong...well u started to talk to me everyday... trying to ask me to meet u everytime u see that theres a chance to...
& todays conversation got my attention...
well im just confused...
so here it goes...

her: smlm saya nak kol away,i was around @ ya workplace,but i realize that ur hp batt mati uh...
him: awak kat sini buat apa?
her: kan izam kena hanter benda2 there also,ingat nak jumpe awak...
him: huh?no i wont meet u uh.. (da buang tebiat ke dia nak jumpe aku bila dia dgn izam)
her: asal pulak taknak jumpe uh...
him: i dont wanna meet u when u are with him...
her: asal pulak? tell me...
him: i just wont meet u when u are with him...
her: TELL ME WHY?!
him: nothing,just dont want to...
her: TELL ME!!!
him: just dont want to lah awak...
her: that means that u wont come to my wedding?
him: tu mesti la datang,orang kan da jemput, as a form of respect i'll come and eat,congratulate u & go lah...
her: den when can i meet u? lagi 2 tahun? 4 tahun?
him:~silence(apa sampai 4 tahun semua...)
her: just tell me why u dont wanna meet me when im with him?
him: takda pape uh,just dont want to, its like why izam dun want to meet u with me gitu...
her: mimi,dun make me cry...
him:~silence...
& her voice starts to sound sad....
him: hey u crying? why are u crying??
her: takda pape lah...
him: tell me why la...
her: nothing,really...
him: ye bagus la tu, saya ckp takda pape, awak pun ckp takda pape...sama lah kita dua nie...
her: tau pun, just tell me why u aje boleh?
him: erm,uh...just that...i dun noe how to explain...
her: coz u feel hurt when u see me with him...
him: argh! awak da tau kenapa nak tanye saya lagi?
her: coz i wanted u to say it to me,mimi!
him: well ok,i'll say it! IT HURTS TO SEE U WITH HIM! THATS Y I DONT WANNA MEET U...
her: see wats so hard about that...
him: da lah lets talk about something else....
& so after that conversation she started laughing again... =) its how amazing how i managed to make her smile eventhou she was on the verge of crying...
as long as she is smiling and having a good time,im fine with that...
yeah she's dying to meet me,wants to buka with me...one day aite,when we have a chance aite...

it confusing,well look at how she treats me... i even dont noe why im stil here enjoying myself wit her... its wrong uh,bt i still luv her words...she appreciates me,everything that i did for her, i wasnt expecting anything but she just...haiz,i dont noe uh....

it took nearly 2 years for her to forgive me,it looks like i was too late,but it looks as thou something really wrong is going to happen. its really wrong but somehow i feel that i want it...

im confused...

**i still remembered that day when u were just starring at me,when i realized it,u turned away and just kept quiet. i managed to see those eyes,those eyes which were trying to tell me something. i tried to deny it,but as time goes by,it seems tat ur eyes were telling me the truth...

Wednesday, September 24, 2008 // 11:22 PM

// 1:25 AM

yes u are~!!!!!!

yang lagi satu aku malas nak upload byk sgt gambar dia...

i want both can?

Tuesday, September 23, 2008 // 1:47 AM

i took time off today from work. i locked myself in my room the whole day.been feeling so not myself lately.i imagined about the future,if i didnt get married & i took care of my parents.thats when i realize that when time goes by when it was time for my parents to go, will i be lonely and alone all by myself.it sucks when i start to think that way.thought of quiting work and just stayed home.just need to get out.alone! i dont need anyone else.im starting to break down again.my feeling are so jumbled up.i dont feel like doing anything...

why must i feel this way? why must we grow apart? when we were happy together? why cant we start afresh? i just wanna make u happy. just wanna see u smile. i succeeded most of the time. but most is not enuf?we didnt have something strong to justify that,"yes! we cant be together.we are not meant for each other". nothing! am i going to feel this way all my life now? well now its already 9 months, well, 179 days since i last saw u...

i ask the DOC to give me cough syrup,well i didnt have any cough,but its gonna help me sleep uh. i hate it that i have sleeping problems...haiz~!


''remember when we first met,we watched a movie @ cathay,wen to macD's @ PS & they ran out of fries so we had hashbrowns,then we walked all the way to sit @ esplanade,yeah we walked! i kept talking but u kept quiet,watched the sunrise and went home...remember??''


i miss u so...

Tuesday, September 16, 2008 // 12:12 AM

Tuesday, September 09, 2008 // 2:40 AM

you smiled
i smiled
well i tried to
until i saw someone
holding you right beside you

in the end,
you are the one who is smiling...


can i be depressed?

Monday, September 08, 2008 // 12:54 AM

well everytime i experience something new,i feel sad but happy. my heart will beat so fast just to noe whats happening next. it feels like an exciting and mysterious soap opera. i didnt wanna noe all that but i just have the urge to just take a peek uh. yeah, could call me a stalker but i just wanna noe whats happening. well maybe my decions are forced ones just to make me feel better. i should be, cos i wanna enjoy living in this world. it is still a mystery why im still like this. i tried exploring my deep deep feelings but i still dont get it. to experience happy endings are great, but reality will bring us all back down to earth. anyway happy endings are all just made up, so dont expect too much. happiness will come unconciously, so dont expect it coz it may break ur heart into pieces.

people dont realize how lucky they are. the are not thankfull and dont appreciate whats around them. one day when the realize that they are torn apart and hurt then they will start to understand. understand how life works. understand what really sacrifices are all about. learning that life is not a game.

be sure of what u want. well, majority will want to have fun. nowadays, i see that love is over-rated. Love can conquere all. one word, bullshit! yeah,u could see the best couple in the world, the most loving one, but one easy question? whats next? marraige? i see people saving money nearly half dead, not eating out, sacrificing everything, just to get married. yeah, everyone sooner or later will achieve that,but again one question, whats next? what about the future. spend all 20 to 30 odd thousands just for the marraige but then have finacial problems after u tie the knot?

having a good carear and be finacial healthy is something everyone should think off. i see people rushing to get married but they are working jobs that dont have any kind of advancement. they never plan a structure on how to improve themself and upgrade themself but be happy with what they have rite now. but are they willing to stay the same in the next 20-30 years? i dont wanna be that. i wanna be successfull eventhough i start from the very bottom. i have a bad past but F it i dont really care. for me getting an executive position in a company is far more important that having that happening life. i dont drink and club anymore. people will think that im nuts coz im a clubberholic and an alcoholic. but wat ibu told me opened up my heart. she opened up my lfe to GOD. and im thankfull for it, alhamdulilah!~ she make me realize the importance of having a good carear and to keep improving myself. i dont care what people might say, but inshaallah i be successfull one day just like my mom. after that then i can think about serious relationships... well all this i have to leave it to GOD.

i dont look down on anyone. but think of ur future.

so have u decided on what u wanna do now?


i didnt pick up ur kol, was talking to ibu uh,gitu pun nak merajuk,dah tak reply msg semua,sukahati awak lah,well,no strings attached right? im still smiling,are you?

*mimi^botak

Tuesday, September 02, 2008 // 11:03 PM

Monday, September 01, 2008 // 12:59 AM

Mimi a.k.a Botak...
21 going 22
weird...
gila...
biol...
tak hensem...
hitam...
u noe black....
gelap...
hodoh...
buruk...
i'm 1.81m...
u must be short...
hahaha...
sum say i look like a nerd...
sum say im slenge...
loud...
most of the time funny....
sumtimes lame...
can't be denied...
tak betul...
loves cars...
weird...
emo...
hahaha...
tats mi...
mimi...
mimi the botak guy at sch tat time...
so...
there u go...
...


**mimi

->JoeY
->MJ
->syaZ
->AyU
->ShaFa


August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
November 2009
March 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011


Image: foto decadent.
Textures: sanami276.
Layout: bias-ED.